Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory explains how the vagus nerve—the longest cranial nerve in the body—affects how we respond to stress, fear, and safety.
Understanding this theory can transform how you view and manage your fear of flying.
The Three States of Your Nervous System
According to this theory, your nervous system has three basic states:
Fight or Flight (Sympathetic State)
- You feel anxious, tense, alert, or panicked
- Your heart races, muscles tighten, digestion slows
- This is where most fear of flying lives
Freeze or Shutdown (Dorsal Vagal State)
- You feel numb, checked out, hopeless, or dissociated
- Breathing slows, energy drops
- This is when your body "plays dead" to cope with threat
These states are not mental choices. They're biological defaults designed to protect you.
What Happens During Flight Phobia
For someone with flight anxiety, the moment they step into an airport—or even think about flying—they can move from the safe & social state into fight-or-flight without realizing it.
Triggers that activate the sympathetic nervous system:
- Just thinking "what if something goes wrong?"
- Hearing the engines roar
- Feeling turbulence
That's why it feels so physical:
- Your hands sweat
- Your heart pounds
- You can't think straight
You're not being dramatic—your nervous system is reacting to a perceived threat. And the response is automatic.
Why This Explains So Much
Polyvagal Theory gives language to those confusing experiences:
| Common Flight Fear Symptom | Nervous System State |
|---|---|
| Racing thoughts, panic | Fight-or-Flight (Sympathetic) |
| Numbness or dissociation | Freeze (Dorsal Vagal) |
| Calm but alert | Safe & Social (Ventral Vagal) |
Understanding this gives you power.
You're not "overreacting"—you're experiencing a nervous system shift. And those shifts can be softened.
How to Return to Safety
The good news is that you can manually regulate your nervous system with simple tools.
1. Breathe From the Bottom Up
Long, slow exhales activate the ventral vagal system, bringing you back to calm.
Try this:
- Inhale for 4
- Exhale for 6
- Repeat until your chest softens and your mind clears
2. Ground Through the Body
Touch and movement send signals of safety.
- Rub your palms together
- Tap your thighs rhythmically
- Wiggle your toes and feel the floor beneath you
- Use bilateral tapping or "butterfly hugs"
3. Co-Regulate When Possible
Talk to someone. Smile. Make eye contact.
Even small connections can activate the social safety system.
If alone, even hearing a calm voice (like from guided audio) helps.
4. Visualize Safety
Close your eyes and picture yourself already at your destination.
Imagine being hugged, walking through calm air, or sitting with a friend.
Visualization activates the same parts of the brain as real experience.
💡 Pro Tip: The SkyCalm app includes nervous system regulation tools like guided breathing with visual cues, body scan meditations, and 'You're Already Safe' visualizations designed specifically for flight anxiety.
Understanding Your Nervous System Responses
Flight Is a Nervous System Journey—Not Just a Mental One
Most fear of flying strategies focus on thoughts. But those thoughts are often driven by the state you're in.
- When your body feels safe, your mind calms down.
- When your body feels danger, your mind races.
That's why nervous system tools are so effective. They work below the thoughts.
Practical Polyvagal Techniques for Flying
Vagus Nerve Stimulation
- Humming or singing: Vibrations stimulate the vagus nerve
- Cold water on face/wrists: Activates the dive response
- Gentle neck stretches: Releases tension around the vagus nerve
- Deep belly breathing: Directly activates the parasympathetic system
Social Connection Techniques
- Listen to familiar, calming voices
- Look at photos of loved ones
- Text someone who makes you feel safe
- Practice gentle eye contact with friendly flight staff
Environmental Safety Cues
- Bring familiar scents (lavender, peppermint)
- Use soft textures (blanket, stress ball)
- Listen to rhythmic, predictable sounds
- Create visual anchors (calming photos, art)
When Your System Gets Overwhelmed
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your nervous system may shift into freeze or shutdown mode during flight. This is also normal and protective.
Signs of Dorsal Vagal Shutdown:
- Feeling numb or disconnected
- Extreme fatigue or sleepiness
- Feeling "out of body" or dissociated
- Difficulty speaking or moving
Gentle Ways to Re-engage:
- Very slow, gentle movement (wiggle fingers/toes)
- Soft self-touch (hand on heart, gentle face massage)
- Quiet humming or whispering
- Looking for one small thing that feels safe
Your Fear Is Not a Personal Failing
Your fear of flying is not irrational—it's your nervous system doing what it was built to do: protect you.
Polyvagal Theory helps you understand that fear isn't a personal failing—it's a biological pattern that can be softened, shifted, and eventually rewired.
With the right tools, support, and repetition, you can spend more time in the safe & social state—even at 35,000 feet.
Ready to Work With Your Nervous System, Not Against It?
SkyCalm provides Polyvagal Theory-based tools for nervous system regulation, including vagus nerve exercises, co-regulation techniques, and safety-building practices designed specifically for flight anxiety.
Download SkyCalm on iOSRemember
Understanding your nervous system is the first step toward working with it compassionately. Your body is trying to protect you—and with the right approach, you can help it feel safe in the sky.